Mother Knows Best
by Ren is a bird
Summary: Haruhi's mother once told her that when little girls grow up, they fall in love with men just like their fathers. A series of oneshots [TamakixHaruhi].
1. Chapter 1

Mother Knows Best

Disclaimer: Blah, blah. I own nothing.

Summary: Haruhi's mother once told her that when little girls grow up, they fall in love with men just like their fathers. A series of oneshots TamakixHaruhi.

Spoilers: Episode 1 and the…coffee scene.

* * *

Haruhi's mother once told her that when little girls grow up, they fall in love with men just like their fathers. And since it was her mother who told her, Haruhi knew that it must be true. 

Deep down she really hoped it wasn't…

…but her mother wouldn't lie to her...she didn't think…

* * *

Tamaki Suoh was a horrible flirt. 

Haruhi rolled her eyes her eyes as the blond "prince" dipped one of his screaming fan girls into a romantic pose.

"Would you drink it if we went mouth-to-mouth?" His eyes were hooded, his voice low for added dramatics as the president of the Host Club convinced his fans to try the scary instant coffee.

"I…I will…" The girl stuttered as the surrounding girls became sparkly-eyed and shrieky over the noble prince.

Haruhi swore she would never be interested in a guy like that, even if he ever did figure out she was actually a girl.

All this fuss over some cheap coffee…

* * *

_When she was a child, Haruhi remembered going with her father to the grocery store to buy food for a special anniversary dinner her father was going to cook for her mother. Unfortunately for her father, the sea urchin cost more than he had planned, requiring him to convince the fish-lipped meat-market lady to part with her merchandise at half the cost. _

_When his pleading brown doe-eyes failed to melt her heart, Ranka leaned across the counter and captured the lady's hand in his own. He stroked the top gently with his thumb, gazing at the blushing meat-market lady with hooded eyes. _

"_You have the most wonderful hands." His voice had deepened, and Haruhi swore she could make out roses in the background. "So pale and soft, they are like a lily among thistles…" _

_Needless to say, the lady not only gave them a discount on the sea urchin, but threw in some tuna for free._

_Her father was a horrible flirt.

* * *

_

Like it? Hate it? Tell me, and I may write more!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Me no own Ouran, you no sue me.

Spoilers: Episode 10…one of my favorites!

* * *

Haruhi's mother once told her that when little girls grow up, they fall in love with men just like their fathers. 

As her father paraded the apartment around in his "flashy" new purple dress and new "fantastic blushing peach!" lip gloss, Haruhi really hoped that wasn't true.

* * *

Tamaki Suoh was a _really_ horrible flirt. 

When the host club decided to drop by her "commoner" apartment, Haruhi was tempted to turn around and go back to grocery store. It may have been a hot day, and she had milk in her bag, but if she wasn't _in_ her apartment, maybe they would think they got the address wrong and go home.

A false hope, she knew. Kyouya-senpai was never wrong, and Tamaki was as stubborn as a tea stain on silk.

Which, if you don't know, is pretty damn stubborn.

Haruhi felt her anger rise as Tamaki lectured the other club members on proper etiquette so as not to make the "commoner" household feel "pathetic," "tight," or "ragged."

When Haruhi's landlady took her aside and asked if the strange boys were yakuza, and if she should call the cops, Haruhi was tempted. Being arrested would be a fun "commoner" experience for the host club boys…

But before she could decide either way, Tamaki stepped up and grasped the landlady's hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, madam." Haruhi swore she saw sparklies around Tamaki's head. "I am Haruhi's friend, my name is Suoh."

And the landlady became a blubbering fan girl. Haruhi's eyes narrowed. The Host Club prince had struck again.

"We apologize for the sudden visit, and the disturbance we caused." Wait for it…ah, _there_ were the soulful, sad eyes. The landlady was a goner.

"Oh, don't say that." The landlady _tittered_. Haruhi couldn't think of another word to describe the sound. "Haruhi-chan, I'll bring some candy over later, okay?"

Haruhi sighed. It was probably just as well the landlady didn't call the cops. Kyouya's army would have probably tracked her down and locked her in a dark room.

_

* * *

__After Haruhi's mother died, finances were tight for a while. Her father hadn't yet become popular at the okama bar (1) and his day job stocking a liquor store didn't pay so well. _

_Haruhi usually managed most of the finances and did the shopping, but she remembered one time when their phone had been turned off and the company refused to turn it back on unless they paid an additional fee. She took her dad down to the company office to try to convince them otherwise. _

"_Miss?" Ranka meekly approached the tight-lipped woman behind the counter. Haruhi didn't know why her father was calling this lady miss, she was obviously older than he was. Also, that woman reminded her of someone…_

_The woman looked up from her typing and frowned. "May I help you?" _

_Inspiration struck, and Haruhi hit her fist into her palm _(2)_. Now she knew who this woman reminded her of! She looked just like the tengu_ (3)_ from her Japanese folktale book, complete with the big nose!_

"_Oh, miss, I'm sorry to be such a burden." Haruhi's father leaned across the counter, clasping the woman's hand in his. "But it appears that our bill payment was horribly misplaced in the mail…" Haruhi discreetly rolled her eyes "…and when my precious daughter called about our bill, she was informed that they would only turn our service back on if we paid the additional service fee."_

"_That is company policy…" The woman was wavering, Haruhi could tell. And she was blushing! How did her father manage that? Now the woman really looked like the tengu from her book _(4)

"_Oh, I was afraid of this," Ranka drooped his head, sighing dejectedly. "It's so hard to make ends meet, as a single father who lost his beloved wife." He leaned forward, looking into the phone lady's eyes with a tragic gaze. "Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find another woman who can fill this dark void in my heart."_

_The woman then turned _very_ red, giggled, and stuttered something out about "seeing what she could do." _

_Her father was a _really_ horrible flirt._

* * *

Wow, all those requests for more! I aim to please. 

Some notes to help readers who may not be familiar with Japanese culture:

(1) An okama bar, which is where Haruhi's dad works, is a bar that employs transvestites and serves a predominantly male clientele (both gay and straight men).

(2) In Ouran, you see Haruhi make this gesture from time to time, usually accompanied by a sound of bamboo hitting together (the same sound you get when playing internet Mah Jong and you match a pair!). It's sort of a "I got it!" or "Eureka!" gesture in Japan.

(3) A tengu is a crow-deity/demon (really, we have no good English translation for kami or yokai) believed to inhabit the mountains and forests of Japan. They have big noses and are very popular in Japanese art and literature.

(4) And tengu are sometimes depicted as having red skin.


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